Aug 19, 2021
Tammy is a listener-turned-guest who takes us into her American
Jewish culture and shares how that shaped her early experiences
around sex and marriage, and led her into situations that were
unhealthy and downright dangerous. She dedicated herself repeatedly
to making a better life for herself and her children—a life that
hopefully includes serious sexual satisfaction and positive
role-modeling for her children.
Tammy is a 33-year-old cisgender female who describes herself as
white, Jewish, and has two kids. She and her husband are married by
Jewish law but not legally. She is currently monogamous, but may be
open to exploring other options in the future. She describes her
body as an hourglass figure with a few extra pounds.
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Bookmark moments:
- 3:20 - Tammy shares her first memory of sexual desire, playing
with the showerhead at around age 11-12 and finding her mother’s
vibrator. She did not witness affection between her parents.
- 6:50 - She talks about how growing up in a Jewish family
impacted her views on sexuality.
- 10:18 - Tammy decides to leave school and get her GED to get
out from under her controlling mother. She goes to live with her
grandparents who aren’t much better, and she turns to Yahoo groups
to get access to dating and boys. You guessed it: catfish.
- 17:00 - She gives in and sees the guy, then goes into a panic
when she realizes how in over her head she is. The incident turns
into a memory blackout.
- 19:18 - Tammy talks about her first husband, and how her
community taught (or not) young virgin wives about sex and its
place within Jewish law.
- 27:18 - She opens up about the first time her husband displayed
violent tendencies, and she chose to leave with her infant
daughter.
- 31:35 - She tries to find her way into more mainstream culture
for dating. She meets a guy she knows is wrong. A honeymoon in
Vegas ends in annulment and another baby.
- 40:00 - Tammy talks about dating while pregnant, and then as a
young mother.
- 47:30 - Tammy meets someone different, and she gets her first
taste of bad boy attraction. It ends, and she finds herself running
a divorcee dating network. She meets someone different again, this
time “nerdy.” He seems like a good guy and they get engaged, but
there’s a porn addiction.
- 55:30 - They both start 12-step meetings. Leah talks about porn
use vs porn addiction.
- 1:02:00 - Tammy shares how her body image was negatively
impacted by the porn, how her withdrawal and her husband’s waning
interest stalled their sex life, and how he failed to stay off
porn.
- 1:09:44 - She started listening to this podcast and thinking
maybe there could be more, her hopes for the future, and how she
wants to raise her kids to be open and have positive models.
- 1:17:15 – The Lowdown - Tammy answers questions about sex on
her period, partners, toys, positions, clit stimulation vs
penetration, achieving and/or faking orgasm, touch, building up
pleasure, older men, masturbation, hair vs bare, 3-ways, blowjobs,
receiving oral, smell and taste, breast play, ass play, dirty talk,
laughter, confusing sexual urges, body parts, fantasies, and
more.
Resources:
Tracy’s Dog – Tammy’s favorite toy!
https://www.tracysdog.com/collections/best-sellers/products/2-in-1-g-spot-vibrator-with-clitoral-sucking
Co-Dependents Anonymous (CoDA) - https://coda.org
Adult Children of Alcoholics and Dysfunctional Families (ACoA) -
https://adultchildren.org
Patreon:
Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to
support the work I do, I am grateful for your
contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
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EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria
Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak