Aug 6, 2020
Mel had plenty of boyfriends but had trouble being faithful. She
has chosen ethical non-monogamy as a way of meeting her variety of
relational and physical attractions and needs.
Mel is a 55-year-old, cisgender female. She describes herself as
very petite, polyamorous, and post-menopausal.
Public Service Announcement:
If you think monogamy is the vanilla prison for which there is
no safe word, or find yourself cheating yet again to get your needs
met, it may be time to think outside the box. Relationships—both
romantic and play—can accommodate a variety of numbers, shapes, and
parameters. For anything from regular group sex to family game
night households, consider polyamory.
Bookmark moments:
- 3:03 - Mel’s first memory of sexual pleasure is of rubbing
against her pillow at age 7 when sent to her room for a “nap.”
- 8:55 - She started having sex at 14 with a boyfriend and had a
great first experience.
- 12:31 - Mel talks about her first lesbian encounter with an
older mystery rich woman.
- 14:13 - She describes how she is attracted to and attaches to
women differently.
- 17:37 - Mel opens up about an abortion at 18. She got pregnant
with a Swedish foreign exchange student.
- 19:02 - Mel tells “the story” from college, about the time she
wrote a song for a disastrous first date with the future author of
“He’s Just Not That Into You.”
- 22:18 - She talks about how her height (very petite) has
affected her body image and confidence, the pressure to be thin
growing up in the south, and about her shape fluctuations after
motherhood.
- 28:35 - During grad school Mel was in a “friendly” relationship
with good-but-boring sex and accidentally became a mother.
- 29:22 - She opens up about the fact that she has cheated in
every past relationship, and what drove her. She talks about
exploring the relationship model of ethical non-monogamy.
- 31:35 - Mel explains that she loses part of herself when she’s
only with one person because she over-adjusts to the dedicated
partnership.
- 37:35 - She talks about her current “triad” with a man and
woman and two separate relationships with men.
- 45:32 - Menopause has been non-catastrophic for Mel!
Resources mentioned:
The Patreon extras for this
episode are:
- Mel talks about how she responded to her parent’s divorce and
to being anally raped
- The extended Q&A
Book a PJ Party!!! All the info and
registrations are at www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
FACEBOOK GROUP: www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk
CALL-IN: Want to leave a message for Leah? Call
720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739)
PATREON: Become a community supporter at
www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex
RATE THIS POD: Leave a rating and review at
www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls
BE A GUEST: Want to be on the show? Visit
www.leahcarey.com/guest
COACHING: Want to talk with Leah directly?
Visit www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Music – Nazar Rybak