Jan 21, 2021
Debbie was formed by experiences of both pleasure and pain. She was blessed with good early relationships, but also is a survivor of the epidemic of sexual abuse in elite women’s sport. Her faith in herself helped her choose to heal.
Debbie is a 52-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, heterosexual, monogamous, married, and post-menopausal. She describes her body as average.
Bookmark moments:
3:40 - Debbie’s first memory of sexual pleasure is at age 16 with her first boyfriend, who had learned a fabulous trick with ice.
9:13 - She shares about growing up in church, conservative but with a touch-generous loving youth group.
11:18 - Debbie then opens up about a deeply traumatic experience: she was molested by her gymnastics coach. She talks about him being charged and acquitted, and about subsequently being groomed in his tutelage.
20:44 - Getting her parents to admit what happened was difficult. The lack of public condemnation was even more harmful.
25:52 - Debbie discusses two other painful sexual traumas.
35:17 - She speaks to the fact that despite the trauma, she is not broken, and she wants to assure other victims that a healthy sex life with pleasure is still possible.
42:20 - After they separate, Debbie’s husband buys a self-help workbook and actually does the work. Things become peaceful, and then they turn around in a big way.
47:16 - Debbie still deals with chronic tendonitis in her hips, which impacts sex, and she talks about being post-menopausal.
The Lowdown (50:32)
What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had?
What’s your favorite sex toy?
Have you ever felt a sexual urge that confused you?
The Patreon extras for this episode are:
Debbie tells a story about the gorgeous Australian man she met while traveling on a train around Europe. And also – why do men feel entitled to be dating more than one woman, but get upset when a woman is dating more than one man? We also have an extended conversation about the way she talks to her four sons about sex, and that interaction has been colored by her own abuse history. PLUS, the extended Lowdown Q&A!
As of July 2020, all Good Girls Talk About Sex audio extras are now FREE! They can be accessed at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
I've done this because not everyone has the means to pay for access, and I know this additional material can be deeply important for some listeners. But creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls
Have questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!
Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest
FOLLOW LEAH:
Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk
Private Facebook Group - www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk
YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com
Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com
WORK WITH LEAH:
Learn about coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria
Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak