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Good Girls Talk About Sex

Dec 10, 2020

Lachlan was born with a vagina. His is the story of how a boy learned to be a girl, then learned to be invisible, then a lesbian, before learning that he could just be who he was all along, except that it’s still … complicated.

In this super-sized episode…

Lachlan is a 41-year-old transgender man. He describes himself as white, straight-ish, monogamish and single. He describes his body as a round, cuddly bear.

Bookmark moments:

  • 6:33 - Lachlan shares the complications around early sexual desire for him, because he knew he was attracted to other little girls.
  • 11:11 - Lachlan’s parents don’t pressure him to gender conform as a kid, though trans isn’t a known thing back then. Until, a birthday party. He learns about “passing” and blouses, and struggles through his teens.
  • 18:21 - He talks about his rich fantasy life as a teen, in which he is a tall handsome football-playing penis-bearing male vaguely modeled on Macguyver.
  • 23:08 - Lachlan’s first sexual experience of any kind is at age 21 with his first girlfriend, who teaches him to masturbate. He squirts!
  • 35:37 - The concept of transgender comes into his awareness.
  • 40:49 - Lachlan comes out, despite fearing he will lose his entire family.
  • 46:44 - After the news is broken to his father (by his mother) it is never spoken of between them again.
  • 47:18 - Lachlan shares outward steps of transition; therapy, hormones, telling people you work with, growing facial hair.
  • 53:36 - Becoming a man complicates his lesbian relationship.
  • 55:05 - Lachlan details how sexuality transitions along with transitioning: the impacts of testosterone, top and bottom surgical options, the discomfort of still having to get a pap smear, etc.
  • 1:08:14 - Lachlan talks about the mechanics around having sex in present day.
  • 1:11:28 - Top surgery has enhanced appearance but decreased sensation.
  • 1:14:45 - Heartbreak and pandemic create time alone.
  • 1:16:12 - Lachlan passes fully as a male, and decides if and when disclosure comes, in normal life as well as dating.
  • 1:20:28 - He opens the door on bathroom talk.

The Lowdown

  • The entire Lowdown Q&A is on Patreon this week because this episode was already SO long!!!  Don’t forget – ALL audio extras are FREE at Patreon!

ALL audio extras are now FREE for everyone!!!!!  They can be accessed at  If you’d like to support the work I do, you can make a monthly contribution at that site.

Mentioned in the episode:

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Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)

Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby

Music – Nazar Rybak