May 28, 2020
Maya was born in the Sudan and came to the United States at age
6. She shares the frustrations she’s had around religion and how it
affected her sexuality, the way she used sex in her early life to
fill an emotional void, and the pleasure she has finally found with
her husband.
Maya is a 30-year-old, cis-gender female who describes herself
as mixed race (black and white), heteroflexible, married,
monogamous with the possibility of some monogamish play, with a
young daughter. She was born in the Sudan and came to the
United States at age 6. She was brought up Muslim and
describes her body as tall and thicc.
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with
us:
- 2:40 – As a girl, Maya thought sexuality was perverted and made
fun of it with friends
- 6:00 - Growing up in an Islamic household where sex was a sin,
and she wasn’t allowed to date
- 8:30 - Maya describes being chaperoned by her mom on a date to
the movies (but her brother was allowed to date without
chaperone)
- 10:52 - Losing her virginity at 19 to a senior in college
- 16:45 - Her “first love” was a typical bad boy.
- 20:00 – The way Maya used sex during a deep depression –
needing the attention to feel desired and feel better about
herself.
- 22:30 – A boss who paid her for sexy play
- 25:50 – The impact Osho’s book “Sex Matters” had on her view of
sex and religion
- 27:44 - How her appearance (being tall and “thicc”) differs in
desirability/impact on black vs white men—and how she only dates
black men.
- 29:37 - Her husband is the first person she’s with who
prioritizes her pleasure and it’s disconcerting.
- 31:31 – Contemplating a threesome with her husband and another
woman, and the nerves she has about the idea
- 34:40 – The reasons sex has slowed down since Maya married her
husband – not just having a child, but also their deep beliefs
about sex and the role it should have in marriage
The Lowdown (37:27)
- What belief did you have about sex as a child or a young woman
that you wish you could correct her on now?
A lot of people are under financial strain right now, so
I’m making all the Patreon extras available for free to
everyone. Thank you to community members who continue to show
your support through this hard time. The Patreon extras for this
episode are:
- A deeper dive into Maya’s experience of depression, and how
losing her identity as an athlete in college was a big driver
- Maya talks more about her “lesbian phase”
- The extended Lowdown Q&A
Resources mentioned:
- “Sex Matters” by Osho - Osho is a complicated figure – he is
still revered by some for his insights into sexual energy and
relaxing attitudes toward human sexuality. However he has also been
accused of sexual impropriety and abuse by many of his
followers. I am not one to throw the baby out with the
bathwater, however, so I’m providing this resource for those who
may find it helpful while also encouraging you to do some further
reading of the full context of Osho’s teachings.
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Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Music – Nazar Rybak