Jul 22, 2021
Karin talks about living with cerebral palsy and how she shows up in her own life and on Instagram. Early in her life, she struggled with hating her body, and had to work to get to place where she could see her body as worthy of experiencing pleasure. She had a brief storybook romance with a young man who also had CP. She is frank about planning, logistics, and how things like choice and vulnerability show up differently for her than for able-bodied people.
Karin is a 30-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, queer, monogamous, and dating. She has cerebral palsy and a mental health disability, and has previously had an eating disorder. She describes her body as fat.
You can find Karin on Instagram at https://www.instagram.com/khitselberger and at her website at https://www.claimingcrip.com.
Bookmark moments:
4:55 - Karin starts sharing by speaking to the hard parts: being fetishized, or “something to try,” rather than a sexual whole person.
5:40 - Karin has her first experience with sexual pleasure in her 20’s when she starts dating. They Skype about disability justice and he tells her how pretty she is. It’s beautiful and has a lasting impact, but is also brief and ends tragically.
10:34 - Karin has cerebral palsy; she didn’t explore her own body sexually while growing up. She became Christian in college; her takeaway is that Jesus would love people where they’re at, and this gives her hope and space for a relationship.
13:45 - Karin talks about where agency and choice reside for her, and about the level of trust required for intimacy.
15:20 - She circles back to the story of her first kiss.
24:15 - After losing her first boyfriend, Karin opens the door to her attraction to women.
27:00 - Karin shares that being disabled means talking about intimate logistics ahead of time, and that this can be fun.
32:02 - Karin also dealt with an eating disorder and mental health issues. She struggled early in life with hating her body, and she has worked hard to reach a place of acceptance and neutrality. A significant source of healing has been seeing her body sexually at all.
38:58 - She talks about how intimacy worked in her relationship, and that cultural conditioning to not advocate for her desires was compounded by her lack of knowing what she desires.
47:13 - Karin is currently exploring new desires around kink. She’s also learned to apply consent to co-handling of her body in everyday life.
52:00 - She shares a story of getting her boyfriend to look up fetish porn for her PhD dissertation, and the differences between American-Puritan and European perspectives.
55:20 - Karin hopes to marry and have children someday. She is talking to a potential romantic partner.
1:02:22 - Leah explains sexual surrogacy.
Resources:
Karin’s website – https://www.claimingcrip.com
Karin on IG - https://www.instagram.com/khitselberger
To hear more about sexual surrogacy, listen to our episode with Jocelyn - https://www.goodgirlstalk.com/posts/episode/i-struggled-with-guilt-when-i-became-a-mother-jocelyn/
Creating this show isn't free, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
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EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria
Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak