Jul 9, 2020
Stacey grew up aware of and comfortable with her own pleasure
from an early age. She has a daughter and is twice divorced. She’s
had a rich sex life, and now finds happiness, satisfaction, and
opportunity for personal growth in open relationships.
Stacey is a 45-year-old, cis-gender
female, who describes herself as Black, heterosexual, and
non-monogamous. She is currently single and open to exploring a
relationship with a “primary partner.”
This is a re-broadcast of episode 5.
Public Service Announcements:
How to be multi-orgasmic, step 1: Pay attention to what is
happening and where. “My whole thing is staying in the room.”
How Healing Happens: Stacey has a moment of
deep personal growth when she realizes that the anger she was able
to openly display to her mom was misplaced anger she was really
feeling towards her emotionally unavailable father: “Love makes us
feel safe enough to be horrible.”
Here are some of the notable moments she shared with
- 4:58 - Her first memory of sexual desire, at about age 6, is of
playing with a “male” doll and rubbing its hand on her vulva.
- 6:35 - Stacey shares early childhood memories of making out
with girls, imitating intimacy as she sees in families on TV, and
low-level sexually exploring for pleasure with a male cousin. She
knows enough to keep these secrets from grownups.
- 10:18 - She talks about her first make-out as a teen.
- 11:38 - Pleasure dynamic in sexual explorations and experiences
is focused on herself even from the start.
- 12:10 - She tells the story of losing her virginity.
- 14:00 - Stacey tells her mom she’s had sex.
- 16:30 - She associates the ability/need to communicate with
feelings around intimacy, and notes the difference between physical
intimacy and sexual intimacy.
- 20:10 - Stacey realizes she’s been able to work through anger
by directing it at her mother, because her mother was emotionally
available for it.
- 26:50 - Stacey embraces being comfortable with sexuality with
her own daughter, and talks about the positive energetic impact of
- 28:00 - Stacey opens up about her first “real” boyfriend, the
distinction being that it was “reciprocal.”
- 28:43 - She meets her first husband.
- 31:35 - She currently practices ethical non-monogamy, but
shares how non-monogamy was more like cheating with earlier
relationships and marriages. She also shares what it looks like
with her current lovers.
- 40:42 - Stacey and Leah discuss orgasms, and ways to be
The Lowdown (39:40)
- Approximate number of partners?
- Favorite sex position?
- Favorite sex toy?
- Sex during your period?
- Do you have hair down there, or are you bare?
- Do you have single orgasms or are you multi-orgasmic?
- Do you swallow or not?
- How much noise do you make during sex?
- Do you prefer penetration or clit stimulation?
- Do you prefer to be the giver or the receiver of sexual
The Patreon extras for this
- The full, unedited interview with Stacey, available to all
patrons at $5/month and up.
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Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Music – Nazar Rybak