Feb 7, 2021
“Deaf U” star Alexa Paulay-Simmons gets candid about who she is (and always has been) as a sexual person, and how that’s shaped her life—both on the inside through her choices and experiences, and on the outside with the tight-knit Deaf community and the show’s global audience.
Alexa is a 24-year-old cisgender female. She describes herself as white, straight, monogamous, with a sporty body. She was featured in the Netflix series “Deaf U”. At the time of this broadcast, she is dating fellow Deaf U cast member Braxton.
BOOKMARK MOMENTS:
- Alexa shares her first memory of sexual pleasure and asking her mom questions at age 6 or 7.
- Alexa finally has good sex—with someone she can give instructions to.
- She talks about how it can be awkward to use your hands for dual purposes—talking and pleasing—during sex.
- Daddy issues: Alexa struggles with game-playing, distancing herself, and a lack of communication with her sexual partners. With self-awareness, she chose to develop healthier habits.
- Leah and Alexa discuss the conversation on Deaf U around the unintended pregnancy, and consent (especially around ejaculating inside a woman). Alexa talks about power imbalances and ignored communication in the relationship, and how his wants began to supersede her needs.
- Alexa’s current relationship is full of communication and thereby trust.
- She shares how the Deaf community has responded to (and judged) her openness about sex.
- Her father is less than thrilled.
- Vaginismus is discussed; lubricant is your friend. (If it still hurts even with lube, it’s a good idea to get it checked out.)
THE LOWDOWN:
- What’s the approximate number of sex partners you’ve had?
- What are your hard red lines, things that you won’t do?
- What belief did you have about sex as a child that you wish you could go back and correct her on now?
- Are there any other things that you’d like to clear up, anything else you’d like to say about how you were portrayed in the show?
Don’t forget – as of July 2020 ALL audio extras are FREE at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex!
I've done this because there are people who need this material but don't have the financial means to access it behind a paywall.
But there are many costs associated with producing this show, so if you’d like to support the work I do, I am grateful for your contributions at www.patreon.com/goodgirlstalkaboutsex.
MENTIONED IN THIS EPISODE:
Our American Sign Language interpreter for this episode is Courtney Farbman.
BE PART OF THE SHOW:
Rate this pod: Leave a rating and review at www.ratethispodcast.com/goodgirls
Have a questions or comment - Leave a voicemail for Leah at 720-GOOD-SEX (720-466-3739) - this is a voicemail-only line, so I promise you won't have to talk to someone in person!
Be a guest on the show - I'd love to talk with you! Fill out the form at www.leahcarey.com/guest
FOLLOW LEAH:
Instagram - www.instagram.com/goodgirlstalk
Private Facebook Group - www.facebook.com/groups/goodgirlstalk
YouTube - www.youtube.com/goodgirlstalk
Leah's website - www.leahcarey.com
Podcast website - www.goodgirlstalk.com
WORK WITH LEAH:
Coaching with Leah - www.leahcarey.com/coaching
Join a PJ Party for Grown Ups - www.leahcarey.com/pjparty
EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria
Franco
Special thanks - Liz Zirk
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak