Nov 12, 2020
Overview: Candi lives with Muscular Dystrophy. She shares how it progressed and how it changed her physical capabilities over her lifetime, and what it’s like to date and to have sex with a visible disability. She also opens up about loving rough sex and BDSM, despite an appearance—and often others’ assumption—of fragility.
Public Service Announcement: Never judge a book by its wheels.
Bookmark moments:
- 4:30 - Candi shares her first memory of sexual desire, a seemingly spontaneous discovery of masturbation in 9th She grew up in a conservative Christian family and sex was not discussed.
- 7:46 - She talks about being flat-chested in high school, and being such a late bloomer that her mom never gave her the period talk and she only knew what was happening because of Sex Ed.
- 14:56 - Candi stays a virgin until she’s 22, influenced both by purity culture and fear of the unknown.
- 16:50 - She meets a cute boy with a leg brace in a boring class and they bond. She boldly asks him out.
- 19:53 - Her first sexual experience happens and leaves her feeling both curiosity and disappointment.
- 21:44 - Candi explains her Muscular Dystrophy.
- 26:46 - She reflects back to her first sexual experience through the lens of her disability and what the experience was like with her body.
- 29:43 - She goes into her next sexual experience in a way would *never* repeat.
- 35:54 - She opens up about the great sex she had, and the positions that managed it, with the random work guy she wasn’t attracted to.
- 39:00 - Liking aggressive sex is completely normal; also, be careful with choking.
- 40:04 - Candi meets a guy on a dating app, and after an interesting first meeting, he introduces her to BDSM and blows her mind.
- 50:04 - She opens up about how hard it is to watch able people enjoy romantic and life milestones that seem to pass her by despite her competence and energy.
The Patreon extras for this episode are:
- Candi talked me through her Muscular Dystrophy progression from the point of view of the different equipment she used over time, eventually needing a full-power wheelchair beginning in 2017
- The extra 25 minutes we didn’t have time for in the regular episode - Candi talks about the BDSM scene that went wrong, her journey of inner healing and growth, and the types of men that she’s attracted to.
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Host – Leah Carey (website, Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Music – Nazar Rybak