Jan 14, 2021
STARS is an easy-to-remember acronym for conversations that lead to awesome consensual sex.
Dr. Evelin Dacker developed the STARS method to create a way for potential and current partners to have a thorough and safe conversation about physical and relationship expectations.
Public Service Announcement: Sometimes discovery is the mother of tension. Intimate play can be easier and much more fun if you go in knowing what each other likes, or doesn’t.
Bookmark moments:
2:39 - What is the STARS conversation? Plus, if you’ve had it before, you should have it again.
6:36 - Dr. Evelin Dacker explains sex positivity.
9:03 - As she engaged in health research earlier in her career, she realized there’s a total lack of sex talk in the field.
12:11 - Leah shares an experience she had at her first small group portion of a STARS class. When asked to share what her turn-ons and avoids were, she burst into tears and couldn’t speak.
14:12 – Dr. Dacker breaks down each letter in STARS, and what those categories encompass. For example, dealing with shame and stigma are a part of the STI portion of the talk.
16:21 - Avoids are often boundaries related to trauma and fear; they may not be forever fixed. Also, don’t wait to talk about them until you’re heavy in the bedroom and unable to clearly hear your partner!
24:15 - Leah demonstrates a full STARS talk with her friend Ray.
Mentioned in this episode:
- havetimeforthetalk.com – The online home for the STARS talk
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EPISODE CREDITS:
Host / Producer – Leah Carey (email)
Audio Editor – Gretchen Kilby
Administrative Support - Lara O'Connor, Maria
Franco
Transcript creation – Jan Acielo
Music – Nazar Rybak